I don't know what is up with Chicago, but we always think it will be cool to play there, and it never is. We've played probably 4 shows in the last year or two at the Fireside Bowl, and they're always poorly attended, and those who are there sort of sit with their arms crossed and give us the "you're boring us" look. Tonight's show was pretty fucking awful. First of all, they had us play at 6:45, when the show didn't even really get started until about 7. Right around the time we were finishing, people were starting to show up. The sound was horrible - especially on stage. My voice didn't hold up, unfortunately. I started off being able to sort of sing, but by the 2nd song, I was squawking like a bird. Now I'm without a voice yet again. Well, it's slightly better than Sunday night. I can still sort of talk, but it doesn't matter because this time there wasn't really anyone I really needed to talk to.

We packed up immediately after we played, watched Paris TX, and then took off. We felt like jerks for not watching the other two bands, but I mean, Nick does wake up at 4:20 am to get to work by 5 in the morning, and we all have to work fairly early in the morning as well. I wake up at 5:44 and then take the well-over-an-hour bus ride to work (whenever I don't manage to possibly find a ride). We tried to offset the bad karma we'd get for leaving early by giving whatever money we were going to get from the door to Paris TX.

Oh well, not every show we play can be a great one. One out of three is better than nothing.

Our friend Nate from Grand Rapids submitted some photos to the Jones Soda Company for possible use on their labels. A few of them are even photos of us. He is one hell of a photographer, and I think you should check out his submission and vote (kindly) for them.

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I learned something today that made me laugh. There is an actual word "argufy", and it means to have an argument. I remember using the word "explainify" as a joke before, and I would have thought that "argufy" would be even less likely to be a real word. I don't know why I thought that was so funny, but I got a kick out of it here at work.

Last night's show was so much better than the Lacrosse show on Saturday night that it's not even funny. Or, wait, no... maybe it is funny. I'll have to get back to you on that one. There was a really good turnout, especially for a Sunday night. It was our first real rock club experience. We had to have like passes, and they gave us money just for food. That was really weird. We were like "what? You've giving us money for food?? But we're not even hungr... errr I mean thanks!" I thought it was pretty funny, though.

My voice held up for the show. I was pleasantly surprised. I spent all day drinking water and humming and "warming it up" and it did okay for the show, but immediately afterwards, I couldn't talk. Not even like a little bit. I just sort of sat around like an idiot all night. I even wrote out a note to Jim and Nick once because I was trying to tell them something but they couldn't hear my whispering over the rock music.

People that I really wish I could have talked to came up and tried to talk to me, but I just sort of explained that I can't say anything, laughed about it, and then stood there feeling silly. Like how do you hang out with people at a show, when you're basically just following them around and smiling every once in a while, but never saying anything? I seem to only see these people in the weirdest circumstances for me. Like, oh I don't know... when I can't talk!

But being mute isn't fun. I mean, sometimes I may feel like it's difficult to know what to say, but when you physically couldn't say it even if you wanted to, that is a weird feeling. I didn't like it one bit, and I felt myself really wanting to explain myself to people and make sure they didn't think I was just avoiding them.

Whitney told me that most of the people that bought merch seemed to ask what record the first song we played was on, and that's cool because that was one of the new songs we played. I'm glad people liked it. We all think it's the best stuff we've ever come up with, but who are we to decide? Well, no, actually, we should judge it ourselves. There is something wrong if we don't personally like it the best. Whenever a band gets to that point, I think it's time to throw in the towel. I'm glad we're not at that point yet.

Last night's show was pretty much the epitome of awkwardness. We played this huge rock club to like the members of Paris TX and probably 10 other people. It was very odd and not that cool. We didn't have it in in us to like "rock out", but Paris TX did. I have to give them credit. They played like the room was full of people and as if there was a bunch of energy coming from them, but that's just something we can't do. I guess we sort of feed off of people being there and being into it, and if that's not there, it just doesn't feel right to us.

The show tonight in Milwaukee will go a lot better, I'm sure. Too bad my voice is pretty much fried right now. I think I can nurse it back into shape, hopefully.

We've been having serious equipment trouble, though. The adapter for all of my pedals decided to break, so I can't use those, and one of my instrument cables decided to short out. One of Jim's pedals that he really needs for a certain song decided to just stop working, too. All in the course of probably 3 days or something. Not cool. So today we have to leave early and head up to Mars and try to remedy the situation to the best of our abilities.

I have this huge empty feeling in my stomach and it's really annoying, so I guess I should go find something to eat. Hopefully we'll see you at the show tonight (if you're near Milwaukee).

Anyone who might possibly be interested in hearing what we're working on writing should come to the shows we have this weekend and early next week. If you live close to Lacrosse WI, Milwaukee, or Chicago, that is. We'll be playing two new songs, but you'll have to come early to catch them because we're playing first, and those songs are going first in the set. I know it might make more sense to not play them first, but there is a very specific reason they must be played before any of our other songs, and it pertains to vocals. Not that anyone really cares what the song titles are, but we're playing two new songs called "Tell-Tale Signs and Sure-Fire Ways" (aka the metal song, which isn't really metal) and "Summary Treatment".

Come to the show and sing along. That's a joke, but you can read the lyrics anyway if you want. Don't ask me what good that would do for you, but if you're bored enough, here they are:

Tell-Tale Signs and Sure-Fire Ways

For all intents and purposes I've disappeared. Nothing but this shell of me remains here. That which hasn't killed me has only made me bitter. I painted this picture of myself: a liar. a quitter. Routine has been putting words into my mouth for so long now. Does it matter if I don't know what to say - if I've forgotten how to speak? We've planned out with mistakes we can make and which risks to take, and they've formed this tunnel to some distant ideal place. There's light on both ends, but I'm stuck in the middle. and Routine has made this. Mistake after mistake, risk after risk, piece by piece. If one of those pieces should happen to break, the tunnel collaspes and ruins everything. Devours any light you thought you once saw. (Even in the dark I can still see these tell-tale signs of failure and the sure-fire ways I took to get there).

Summary Treatment

I could sleep this life away and still be tired of it. Fucking numb, fucking blind. Absent is more than just a state of mind. Reeling towards the same dead-ends. Uselessly whispering what should have been screamed. My lungs should bleed. A need to desire nothing. I desire to need anything. You can dampen a feeling, but it will never die. You just lose that part of your mind. And there's no such thing as crazy, just a lot of people broken too many times. There's only one I in rejection, but let's pretend we're both burning bridges before we get to them. All it takes is a spark from this flicking flame. Yeah, there's no such thing as crazy, but sometimes I swear I am. I kill beautiful things just to watch them die. There are two types of people in this life: remainders and those divisible by.

Well, I got a new job today. I wasn't even trying. Actually, it's the same old job, but I was hired here as a "real" employee instead of a temporary one. I even got a fancy new title: billing coordinator. La di fricking da.

I lost pretty much the only "person" that keeps me company these days, my cat Norman. Not because he died, but because he lives somewhere else now. He wasn't really my cat as much as he was my girlfriend's and mine. I don't want to get into it (partly because I wouldn't know where to begin), but well I don't have a girlfriend anymore, thus I don't have a cat anymore. Now he lives in a big house with a couple other cats and lots of people, so I'm sure he's having a lot more fun, but I'm selfish and I miss him. It felt like he died or something when I got up this morning and he wasn't walking on my back, and when he didn't follow me into the bathroom when I was taking a shower, or how he didn't climb up on my legs to try to steal my food when I was eating last night.

Thanks to everyone who has already been helping us with our tour. If we keep getting e-mails from you, we will probably be able to actually book the whole thing, which is going to be crazy since it's so long. Scroll down a few entries to see the link to the dates and e-mail us if you can help out.

Here's a current playlist:

Bright Eyes
Bright Eyes
Bright Eyes
the "sad" mix CD someone made for me
Tool

I'm one step closer to having this whole site be driven by a MySQL database. I just finished the links page, which is awesome, because I always hated updating the links before - especially since I had two separate links pages (one for the Flash site and one of the non-Flash site). Now I can have two pages that are both generated by the same database. I know the links page doesn't even look any different, but trust me, it's a lot cooler. haha. I know it doesn't really matter to anyone, and it's hardly news, but I'm excited because I'm teaching myself to do that stuff, and I'm happy that it works.

That being said, please feel free to e-mail me if you think your link should be included. I know there are links I'm leaving out.

You know what I hate about taking the bus to work? The way crazy bus people will try to start conversations with me about the dumbest stuff. Yesterday, this really annoying woman decided that the best way to start a conversation would be to say "so I spent all day Saturday putting together this exercise bike I bought out of a catalog. I think they should tell you if there is going to be assembly required". I felt like asking her when the last time was that she bought something like that out of a catalog and didn't have to put it together, but instead I just sort of smiled and nodded.

Though, I was thinking about it, and I guess I'd rather listen to that than hear office people make small talk with each other. I swear they're all into golf, and only so they have a common interest to discuss. You know, on days when there's nothing to say about the weather. I wonder if they'd freak out if they forgot about golf, and it wasn't "so beautiful outside", or raining, or something... they might actually have to think about who they are for once and say something that actually has some sort of meaning. I can't wait to leave and go on tour for 4 months or however the heck long it's going to be. The people we meet make much better small talk.

Here is the first portion of our tour dates, with only the locations listed for now. If you think you might be able to help us find a show in any of the cities listed, please e-mail us.

We're going to be adding some more dates to the end, but we have to work out some details with us heading over to Europe.

The show in Sioux Falls was a lot of fun. It was great to be up there again. I wish we could play there more often. It had been almost a year this time. Mastodon were awesome again, as anticipated by all of us. I'm sure you'll hear a lot about them in about 6 months or so. They have an EP and then a full length coming out on Relapse, and then they're doing some monster tours, from what I gathered.

Whitney and I went straight to the Seven Days / Since By Man / etc show here in Milwaukee immediately upon returning home. We literally got dropped off by the van as soon as we got back into Milwaukee. I was all kinds of nasty since the show in Sioux Falls was about 100,000 degrees and I didn't get to take a shower. I felt like I had taken a bath in vegetable oil or something.

It was awesome that a lot of people showed up to the show here in Milwaukee (the first one at the new Pierce Street house), but it was really shitty that a lot of them left after 7A7P played. Their loss.

I've been at work for ten and a half hours. *thumbs down*

So, I got this note in our p.o. box last night saying that they were holding some mail for me. I use that p.o. box for all of my mail too, just so I have a reason to check it every day. If I didn't, we could get mail and no one would ever see it since I'd be too lazy to go check the box. Anyway, i went to pick up this mail on the way to work, and I had a whole bin full of mail from when we were on tour with the Assistant this winter! I was wondering why I didn't have much of anything when we got back. They must have forgotten to put in the slip or something. Good thing no one ordered records from us during that time or something! That would have been bad.

Today is like Friday for me. Not because I'm calling in sick tomorrow so we can play in South Dakota, but because I have no concept of time.

Whitney and I are dorks! haha. We went to Atomic Records at midnight last night to get the new Tool CD. I know what you're thinking.

And.... I'm... checking.... to... see...if..

Nope, I still don't care!!!

I know most of anyone who reads this won't care, but I am excited because our shows page is known a database-driven php file that is much easier to update. The shows automatically go in order, and all I have to do to delete one is hit a button that says "delete" and it's gone. I'm working on doing that for our past shows, but adding 226 shows to a database can take a while. I should do it here at work...

Due to a lack of communication between us and the studio, we now have time booked for late July as opposed to June, like we thought we did. When it's nearly impossible to actually call and talk to a live person on the telephone, that's when I think everyone should have access to e-mail. At least places like recording studios, when you have to book time and can't seem to get in touch with anyone. I though we already had time booked - Whitney had already talked to them, and they gave us dates, but now that band Brandtson is recording then. Oh well. That gives us an extra month to get the record finished and whatnot, but it means that we probably won't have copies of the record by September, which is when we start touring. That always happens to us, so I guess it stands to reason it would happen this time as well.

The real kicker is that we have to cancel two more shows due to recording, one in Menomonee Falls, and one in Mankato, MN. That sucks.

The stupid cops came to our practice space again last night. I think it must be something about Sunday night, because it was Sunday night last time they came, and both times we weren't even playing loud. Just working on quiet stuff. Anyway, this time they tried to get our attention by shining flashlights, and we just ignored them until they left. Then we snuck out the back. Screw them. I think there must be some old people who live in the condos across the river that like to sit on their balconies on Sunday nights, and don't like to hear rock music, even though I'm sure they can talk over it just fine. Anyway, we'll just practice earlier on Sundays from now on, I suppose.

If you have a balcony that overlooks a river, you don't have any right to complain about anything as far as I'm concerned. Just kidding.

E-mail tour@forstellaford.com if you can help us with tour this fall! I know I just mentioned it a few posts ago, but until I get off my lazy ass and actually put it somewhere where it won't get lost after a few days, I'll just keep reminding you! That's a new e-mail address that Whitney and I both check, to keep on top of things a little better.

The T is fo' pain, sucka!

Grrr....

I went to bed frustrated last night, then I woke up at 7:25 (as opposed to the usual 6:44) today and I have to be to work (which is a 20-25 minute drive) by 8. Oh, and I decided to take a shower, too. I cut the crap out of my face when I was trying to shave, and it didn't stop bleeding for about an hour. I forgot to brush my teeth, so I'm chewing gum and hoping I don't have Ass Breath®.

Yesterday, I forgot my wallet, so I coudn't go out for lunch. If the vending machine had anything I could eat besides gum, I could have gotten something with the change I had in my desk, but alas I didn't want to / can't eat chili cheese fritos or doritos.

Oh well, I guess I can look to the positives. I brought my wallet and lunch time is only an hour away, today is Friday, and we're practicing all weekend. I wrote lyrics to another one of our songs, so I'm excited to try that out -- even though Nick is going to sing most of it. I've written all of the lyrics at work so far, so I'm getting paid to work on our CD. That makes me a professional musician, right? No, not exactly. If I could bring a guitar to work, then maybe.

We still need to come up with a damn name for our CD. Any suggestions? We're thinking of either Escape or Slippery when wet.

Or maybe Slippery Escape (From New Jersey) When Wet.

We're going to be playing a few new songs at the upcoming shows we have. Please come out if you can! Especially to the show we're playing at the Rave Bar on the 27th. That one should sound pretty good, at least. Even if no one shows up. (hint-hint)

You know, I was driving to work today, and I saw a bumper sticker that read "I'd rather be playing soccer", and I thought "yeah, me too".

Then I thought "hey, wait a minute, I don't even like soccer -- I've never even really played it! Work must really suck".

I have been trying to learn PHP by myself, and so far all I've been able to add to our site is some code to tell you whether or not you are using Internet Explorer. I suppose that's cool, because then I don't have to preach to the converted about how dumb our site looks in Netscape.

Think you're smart? Take this IQ Test. It's pretty interesting.

Practice didn't go so well tonight. I think we were all tired. We've been practicing so much, on top of having jobs and school and whatnot. We worked on a new song again, but we didn't really get much further than we were yesterday. Oh well, there is always Wednesday. It was sort of upsetting for tonight, though. We would have probably been better off if we just stayed at home and rested.

We are now to the point where we only really have to write two or so more songs for our new CD. Things are going smoothly. A little too smoothly. Just kidding. We are still trying to figure out what we should call the record, but we still have time and don't want to rush into something.

I stayed up until 3:30 last night, even though I had to work at 8, and I have more energy than I have had here in a long time. I know why, but you probably don't.

We're starting to look at booking our tour for this fall. We are going pretty much everywhere, so please e-mail us if you want to help us with a show or want us to come to your town. Because once we plan it all out, it's pretty much set. We leave in September and will be gone for a long, long time. E-mail us if you want to help out.

You should go listen to Mare Vitalis by Appleseed Cast if you have it available. I have been listening to that CD the last few days, and it's awesome. Especially in headphones. It sounds like an ocean.

When the boss asks you to work on Saturday, he generally asks you at the end of the day on Friday, right?

I took the Flash site down. I didn't really want to, but due to the fact that I can no longer update it, I felt it was necessary. The original flash movie was lost when the computer on which it was stored decided to crash. Unfortunately, I didn't have a CDR or zip drive, so I didn't have a backup copy. Any site I make from now on will have a backup, though.

Here, I wrote a little play, based on a true story from tour last summer

Scene I
Oil Can Henry's - Portland, OR

Attendant: Just an oil change today?
Whitney: yeah
Attendant (looking inside of the van): Are you guys in a band?
Whitney: yeah
Attendant: Oh, cool. What is it called?
Whitney: Earth Crisis
Attendant: Man, I hear ya. There's a lot of that goin' on these days!

Also, here is the new FAQ section of this site:

Q: What????
A: Never mind

Why am I getting so confused about when we are playing shows? I got some of the dates wrong again and had to change them. I mixed up the date for the shows we are playing with the Vida Blue, and I confused someone who set up one of those shows by posting the wrong date on our site. Dammit. I think there are more shows that we are playing that I have forgotten about, too. I have to try to get my crap in gear!

And why do I always act like a moron when cool people are around? God I hate that. I'm going to go for a bike ride now and try to settle down. If you see me, don't try to say hi, because I'll probably just run away.

I called in sick to work today. I'm not actually sick-sick, but very sick of work. The real reason I called in has to do with a lack of transportation and the fact that I'd never make it to practice on time if I had to take the bus home from work. It would be like an hour or more bus ride, since I work really far away from where I live. I've worked for this company since last September, and this is only the second time I've called in sick or taken a day off (well, not counting that whole month we were on tour w/ the Assistant).

Anyway, I spent some time this morning going through the separate pages for our records and updating the information, adding reviews, etc. etc. That's all on the lo-fi page, though. I'm actually thinking about taking down the hi-fi page until I can get a new one up.